Shocking revelation.....I am not the most organized person in the world!! I know, hard to believe...okay, not really. I WANT to be organized, but I can't seem to get it together enough to actually BE organized. I have all of these great plans and I read about it and get ideas from pinterest...but when it comes right down to organizing my life, I just can't seem to follow through. I keep wondering why, what is it that stops me??!!
I think I have figured it out.....I am in limbo, my life is not my own; or not yet anyway. I have no end to what and who I was before so I can't really move forward to who and what I want to be...or who/what I feel like I am now. I think that until I can actually break free and put all of the baggage and uncertainty behind me I will be unable to let go of the physical baggage...WOW, deep ......for me it is difficult to actually admit that all and put it "out there" for the world to read and see (not that I have a huge following...or a following at all) but maybe it is a positive step in the right direction. I want the freedom that comes with being organized; I want the confidence that comes with being organized...and more than that, I want the neat-ness that comes with being organized. Not having to sift though "stuff" to find what I am looking for. Being able to have someone stop by without wondering how much stuff I can shove into a drawer before the person at the door leaves.....yep, that is why it takes me so long!!
I want organization in my house, for sure...but more than that, I want organization in my life; I want my body to benefit from the decrease in stress and annoyance. Being disorganized is annoying....even to the person who is disorganized; I hate it...I hate admitting it to other people, and I hate admitting it to myself. I don't like feeling stressed out at the idea of someone coming over, or the mad-dash cleaning that I have to do leading up to a visit...and I HATE wishing that I could get it together and actually make it last.
So Spring is here, and I am going to work on finalizing my past and moving forward...and in my new life, I am going to be organized!! I know, I know, you can't just SAY it you actually have to DO it; I am going to declutter and reorganize and make it last. I am determined, and I am slowly starting to feel like I deserve it!! Yay.....did I mention that Spring is my favorite season?? The rebirth of the flowers, trees and the earth....and more importantly, this Spring it is the rebirth of ME!
I am a work in progress, but there is progress and that is most important!!
