For those of you who know me best, it will come as no surprise that I am not good with change. In fact, I am terrible with change, and always have been; even the simple changes like Daylight Savings Time, threw me for a loop. Then I had kids and a realization hit me, if I can't handle this how the heck are the kids going to??
I am infinitely better with change now (and a lot of it has happened rather quickly, like in the last year and a half as the need arose) but I still prefer to know what is going to happen before it happens, than to be surprised with any kind of change that may come about.....
Now for the reason for this post...my grandpa, or as my kids call him "Ol'Pa". He has faced so many changes in the last few months and taken them all in stride. He is 91, and after spending 2 months in hospital had to make the decision to move into a seniors apartment and learn to depend on others to help him in ways he would have never even dreamed of before. He has handled it with such acceptance and is loving his new home and has made such leaps and bounds on his way to independence. It is almost impossible to believe that he is the same man that we were visiting in the hospital only a few weeks ago.
Both his acceptance to major changes, and watching my children adapt to their "new normal" without much of a hitch, have made me really think about why I am so resistent to change...and I think I have an answer!! I lived a pretty idyllic life, my parents are still together. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I was 9 and my brother was 12....and even then, my mom worked evenings and nights so that there was always a parent at home with us. My mom was always there for us if we needed to talk...and we could talk to her about anything, still can.
I didn't have a whole lot of adapting to do when I was growing up, and when I did face changes my parents were always there to back me up or talk it out. I feel very lucky to have had the childhood that I had, and wish I could have given my chidlren the same....and in some ways I can.
Sure, I can't change the fact that they are growing up with parents who are no longer together; but i can make sure that I am always here for them, and do whatever I can to make their lives as idyllic as I can...even if there are some obstacles to overcome. Coming from a "broken home" doesn't mean that their lives will be worse, or less happy than their friends/classmates/teammates whose parents are together; it just means that I need to work harder to make sure that they feel as fulfilled as those other kids....and that is something that I can definitely do!
As for change...I still don't like it, but if Ol'pa can handle it, and my babies can handle it....well, I guess I need to "mom up" and learn to deal with change in whatever way I can. My kids deserve it, and I deserve it......
No comments:
Post a Comment