Movin' on....

Sometimes the most difficult things we have to do in life end up being really unimportant in the grand scheme of things....for me this is particularly hard to understand, because honestly I put so much more value into things than I need to.  For example, when my separation first happened, I was adamant about so many things and was "not going to back down"; and then came a day when I looked at my life and realized that none of that stuff really matters that much.

I have my children, their health, my health, my parents are healthy....and honestly, after seeing my Grandpa go from healthy to gone in the matter of a few months; my life and its purpose sort of shifted.  I still think that the most important things in life are my children and my family...and I believe in the importance of being the best person that I can possibly be; but I don't think that I "need" the other extraneous things or people that have cluttered my life up until now. 

I have always been social, and enjoyed the company of other people.  I am in no way a hermit, but I had stopped making myself available, and I stopped accepting invitations to go places and do things; because I felt like I needed to be home with my family.  When the end came, I was shocked at how few "friends" I had left...or at least how few of them were still interested in calling, inviting..and being turned down.  I always prided myself on being a "good friend", but I realized that I stopped putting in the effort that I always used to...yes, I had young children (still do, for those keeping track) but they don't eliminate the possibility of going anywhere...and they certainly don't make it impossible to keep up with friends.  So...what was my problem?

I don't know what kept me from going out, or what kept me from being available; but in the end, I did what I always used to think was so terrible...I dropped people, people that I really cared about...yeah, shame on me!!

On to the reason for the blog...other than to point out what a crappy friend I have been in the last few years!!  New Years Resolutions!!!  Yeah, I have had the same one for the last 5 years, to lose weight!!  I have done alright, some years better than others...but this year, my resolution is more vague and yet is also more important.  My resolution this year is actually more of a goal, and it is one that i am making for me and my children so that we can have a better life and be happier over all.  Here it is..... My resolution/goal is to be happy with who I am, to live my life the way I want it to be lived, and to sacrifice myself to no one.  I want to be healthier, and more confident; but most of all, I want to be the BEST mom I could possibly be.

Here's the difference between past resolutions and this one.........I have already started working my way towards the goal, I am not waiting for New Years... This is one goal worth working on right away!!

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you all,

Jerri