As I journey through becoming a single mom, I realize why so many people seem to rebound into relationships very quickly after the end of their marriage/partnership. I know it sounds like something that should be easy to understand, but in reality when you are in the beginning stages of separation it seems impossible (for some, like myself) to even imagine starting the whole process of dating......and then you put the kids to bed, and the loneliness consumes you.
Now don't get me wrong, when I was married my ex worked out of town most of the time, so I am used to being a "single parent" but there is a very distinct difference between being the sole parent in the home...and being the sole parent.
The loss of "your person" (to quote Grey's Anatomy) is one of the hardest things to truly comprehend and deal with. Even when things aren't "perfect" (or even good) with the other parent, there is someone to lean on or commiserate with; but when you split up that is gone and you are truly on your own. You can have a million friends, and wonderful family..but what it all comes down to, is that everyone needs to have "their person". That person who is behind you even when your rant is stupid, that person who will tell you how beautiful/handsome you are when you most need it...and yes that one person who can stand up to your worst moods to tell you that you are being crazy and need to take a breather. We all need that, and when you have had it for many years, and find yourself without it can be very daunting and down right scary.
Now, how do you FIND that person? Well, some use online dating or speed dating, or even mail-order brides (okay the last one might be a tad far-fetched...maybe) but I have to think that there is a better way...an easier way...a more dignified way. Why can't we all wear a badge that says "married", "single", "divorced" etc. I know, I know...the ring, it doesn't always make it any easier to figure out who is and who isn't. We all know married people who do not wear the ring, for work or pleasure..or whatever the reason. Again, I ask...how do you find someone? I honestly don't remember how I found people when I was dating last...I do know that my ex and I met through a mutual friend; the problem is that most people in my age group are paired off, either with a wife or new girlfriend/boyfriend.
Not that I am anywhere close to worrying about finding anyone...the prospects for "how" to go about it are enough to make me vow to be single forever!
Ok, maybe not forever, but a very long time......
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