Parenting to Co-parenting....

I don't know why it has to be so difficult to go from parenting children together to.....well, essentially parenting children together but from different homes.  I am in the peculiar situation where my ex and I are doing what we can to be friends and continue to raise our children in a friendly manner.  Do we always agree?  Not on your life....but we have, as of yet, been able to handle whatever has come our way with respect and kindness.

I know that is not the norm.  You hear all the time about how people and their exes just can not get along and end up fighting about every little thing.  I refuse to go there....and believe me, there are times that it is very hard to be happy and friendly in the face of different parenting ideals.  No two parents are alike, and while there are disagreements between parents when they are still married, those disagreements can turn into all out war once the marriage is over.

I don't think that there is any separated/divorced couple who is able to come to an agreement on every issue, but I do think that if more parents would put the childishness, anger, and emotion behind them and move forward as co-parents (rather than as ex spouses) they would see what is truly important.  My children have the benefit of seeing their father and I get along and work together to make their lives better, and I believe that as the years pass it will just get easier....as the hurt fades and the expectations level out, we will both be able to deal with each other without feeling that some comments are meant to be personal attacks.

Yes, that does happen.....I mean, we are human; and even though we have known each other for 12 years, when a marriage ends the person you were married to changes into a different person altogether.  There are things about each other that we would like to see change, and there are things about ourselves that we know push buttons....but over time, if we really work to make the children the number one priority, then we can win this thing.........okay, we will never be "best friends" but I do think that we can be friendly, and our children can see respect and kindness in our actions.

It is more important to show them that even when relationships fail adults can come together for the sake of their children and make life easy...or at least easier than the alternative.