Strength

In the last year I have learned a lot about true strength, and not for the reasons that many would think; it isn’t because I am now an overworked single mom…I mean really is a single mom any more overworked than any other parent out there?  No, I have learned about strength by watching my children at 2 and 4 accept changes to their life that made me worry and cry and kept me awake many nights after the decision to separate.
I didn’t cry because of the loss of my husband (not through death, but through mistakes that should never have been made) but because of the failure of my marriage…the tearing apart of a family, and what I was sure would be the ruin of my perfect, beautiful, loving children.  I just knew that the breakdown of this family would be the end of them…and I was so worried about how to tell them, and how they would take it.  I had visions of rebellious teens and psychiatrist bills that I would never be able to afford….I didn’t know what I would tell them, or how they would accept it…or IF they would accept it.
I have learned from my babies, that a “new normal” doesn’t mean scary, or wrong, it simply means different and that is okay.  I have learned that children can accept change and can thrive even when circumstances are grim…and to me, divorce is a grim future for a child.  I have learned from my children, that love for them is all I need to make a successful, happy life, and that even when things aren’t perfect they are happy just to be with me; and i am happy just to be with them.
I know I am strong, but my children are so much stronger than I will ever be….and they don’t even realize it!!